This one cracked me up !
Aynuk was being interviewed for a job in the local stables.
The boss asked "Have you ever shoe'd a horse ?"
"Not a hoss, no" said Aynuk, "but I once told a donkey to bugger off".
You have to come from the Black Country to appreciate and understand just how funny this can be !
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Friday, September 03, 2010
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Aynuk and Ayli fishing in the canal:
ReplyDelete"Me mates fell in the canal !!!"
"Owd it appen? "
"I just took a bite ov me sanwich an the mate fell out."
Ayli, Aynuk and their mate Noddy Holder go into Beatties and Noddy says to one of the assistants, "I'm re-forming Slade, I want to buy some new stage clothes. I need a pair of flared trousers, a wide collar shirt, platform boots and a mirrored top hat.
"Kipper Tie?" asks the assistant
"Oh thanks" says Ayli and Aynuk "2 sugars and milk please."
Aynuk and Ayli had had an argument and hadn't spoken to each other for over a month. One day Aynuk see's Ayli walking towards him on the opposite side of the road and being the more forgiving calls to him.
" Is that yo Ayli"
A voice comes back, "no it aynt Ayli"
Aynuk say's "well bugger yer then this aynt me neither".
Aynuk and Ayli were sat on Bondi Beach in Australia when a big sun bronzed Aussie comes by with a surfboard under his arm,
Ayli says to Aynuk "weers e gooin with that plank",
Aynuk says, "that ay a plank it's a surfboard",
"What's it for" says Ayli,
"Yo watch" says Aynuk.
The Aussie jumps on the board and paddles out, he catches a huge wave which knocks him straight off and dumps him and the board back on the beach in a big heap.
Ayli says to Aynuk "what did yo say that plank was called"
"It ay'nt a plank" says Aynuk "it's a surfboard"
Ayli says, "well it doe look very serf to me".
Aynuk always thought their Ayli was in need of a little ferther education so decided he would tek im to the big city, Birmingham.
Aynuk took him round the city explaining what building was what and the local history attached to them. Eventually they arrived at Victoria Square and by this time Ayli's brain was in a right spin, suddenly Ayli turned and saw the large building and said to Aynuk "Is thet a palace our kid"
"Naa" says Aynuk," that’s the Council House".
"Kin'ell!!!!" says Aylie "I’ve got me name down for one of them."
Aynuk: Wots the difference between a buffalo and a bison
Ayli: Dow now mate
Aynuk: You cor wash yer onds in a buffalo
Out in Iraq, a British General visited an Army Hospital of the Mercian Regiment. Sensing a doom and gloom atmosphere he tried to
rally the men by asking "Now you men didn't come here to die did you?"
To which Aynuk and Ayli, in unison, replied " Na sur, way booth coomd ere yesterdie."
Aynuk saw Ayli walking down the road pulling a piece of string.
Aynuk: " Wot am yow doin pullin that pace o'string?"
Ayli: "Wul yow troi pushin it".
Aynuk says to Ayli: ‘What yow bin doin’’
Ayli replies: ‘ I bin fishin in the cut’
Aynuk says: ‘Did yow catch anythink’
Ayli replies: ‘Eye,I caught a whale’
Aynuk (astonished): ‘Yow caught a whale in the cut?’
Ayli replies: ‘Yes, a bicycle whale’
The owd 'uns be the best !
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